The Conscious Club

Can't you wait for Spring to arrive? The first warm days and rays of sunshine have already welcomed us in recent days. We are thankful for the first signs of spring after a period of turmoil during which not just the cold weather forced us to stay indoors. This year, though, things are a little different. You could find just as many discarded facemasks as flowers on your first flower-filled spring stroll. Pandemic has created its own new set of pollutions already.

 

What’s enough for you is a decision not an amount, the taming of conscious and expanding its limits are the real game changer. Often in order to start loving ourself we tend to hate our experiences that shaped us, but acceptance and evolution coexist and they are part of the same journey. I often wonder how can we align to the almost perfect and idealist mindset with zero efforts, that's never possible all it takes is conscious living and a clean mind? Some of my personal suggestions are:

1.    Don’t rush! Take your time even if that means that you won’t finish the task soon. Even better, ignore time! Try to stay in the now.

2.    Get rid of distractions. The fewer distractions, the easier it will be to focus and be present. So, put away your phone, turn off the tv and kindly remind your mind that it can stop thinking about work or whatever might worry you.

3.    Focus on your breath! If you get distracted try to let your breath guide you back to the practice.

4.    Be kind to yourself! This practice should be enjoyable and effortless. If you get distracted bring the attention back to cleaning. If this happens over and over again, great! This is the practice.

5.    Be thankful! If you get rid of things, thank them for having served you. This is a great practice to find new gratitude for your environment and to enjoy the little things in life. Still doubtful? Check out cleaning expert Marie Kondo, who combines her minimalist lifestyle with gratitude for all that has served her in the past.

6.    Be curious! We often get distracted because our mind thinks the activity or present moment is not interesting enough. You can trick your brain by being curious and trying to see things from a different perspective. How warm is the water? Can I blow bubbles with the soap?

7.    Appreciate! If you are done with cleaning, take a moment to appreciate your practice. If you do not get done, appreciate that even more! Sit down, take a few deep breaths, pay attention to how you feel, and then thank yourself for the practice.

 

 Consciousness – The Never-Ending Journey. Waking up to life is a constantly evolving process. We don’t just decide to “live consciously” and we’re set. In fact, the more one investigates consciousness and lack there of, the more one may realize just how many areas aren’t fully conscious. Take it one moment at a time.

 

 

Story of A Matrilineal Society

 

People without the knowledge of their history, origin, and culture are like trees without roots.

Like every other states, kerala is also known for its rich culture and history. But otherthan coconuts and backwaters something peculiar is the rich Matrilineal society of the land passed on by great women like Sethu Lekshmi bhai, Queen unnimaya etc. Definitly the upcoming feminist economy has a lot to do with the matrilineal society of the south.

Hailing from the same this is indeed a part of my past and someway or the other yours too, its my pride to take you all along with me through this untouched parts of history.

Kerala with its high social indices of literacy, sex ratio and low female infanticides, it projects the image of a progressive state, But ask the women who actually live there and they will have a different story to tell. The supposed presence of matriarchy in its history has earned Kerala the image of being a female-friendly state.

Let me be frank! a true matriarchal society never existed in Kerala. Here, let me take you through a system that came closest to giving women decision making power, autonomy over their sexuality and their bodies and a control in the matters of their marriage and children called matrilineal society.

So, What’s it all about?!

While India follows patriarchy, which is a social system where men have monopoly over the social, cultural and political realms of society and hold primary authority over women and children, what was practised in some communities in Kerala was not a system diametrically opposite to this. In the system of matrilineal society (not to be mistaken for matriarchy) descent was traced through females and the succession of property was from mothers to daughters. This is not to say that, under such a system men became the oppressed gender. All it did was narrow down the gender gap that was left behind by a patriarchal society

How did the matrilineal society come into place?

The communities believed to have practiced this system were the khasi in meghalya, Nayars of Cochin and Travancore, the Ezhavas and the Malabar Muslims of northern Kerala. The most researched and recorded among them have been the Nayar communities of central and southern Kerala.

There are many contesting theories to this question but the most widely accepted one purports that the origin of this system is traced back to the time when the sole purpose of men was to indulge in warfare, because shedding blood for your own land was considered to be the truest purpose. Since that is where the ‘honour’ was, that is where men went. Family, succession, children and economic resources were left to women to take care of simply because men had different priorities at the time.

What was it like to live in a matrilineal society?

Families lived together as joint families in large mansions called ‘taravad‘. Family members shared ownership over the property; this meant that no individual could claim their share. Lineage was traced through females. Even after marriage, the woman stayed at her ancestral home and it was the husband who had to come stay in his wife’s house. This is not to say that this society was devoid of patriarchal elements. For all intents and purposes the actual control of the property and resources was in the hands of the maternal uncle known as the ‘Karnavan’ who had the final say in all matters.

So, why does this matrilineal society not exist anymore?

There were a multitude of factors that pushed this society into decline, the primary being a shift in the role that men played in the system. When the period of war and conflict ended and the men returned to being members of the mainstream society, marriages became stronger and more monogamous. The upper caste men got ‘modern English education’ which was heavily influenced by the Victorian ‘family values’, where their own culture was accused of being barbaric and uncivilised.

In the midst of all these changes, the women gradually faded into the background. The image of a humble, virtuous wife with ‘lady like qualities’ of being passive and submissive was glorified. Decades of this attempt to retreat to patriarchal ‘values’ brings us to what these communities are like today, not very different to any others you’ve seen. Kerala is surrounded by states that have a strong culture of patriarchy, resulting in the fading of matrilineal families it was obvious to see this transition.

Well! To be honest! Women in Kerala still enjoy a slightly higher education stature compared to most women across the country. A few families still follow the matrilineal tradition of carrying the mother's name throughout their life. And we can see sprouting groups of feminist and controversies even among us. Hence these past has a lot to do with the education to women and evolution of gender equality in and out of the state and in and out of the minds.

Hence my intention was to share a piece of my past since it’s a privilege to keep track of where we belong because history and culture is the backbone to our existence.

Inspired by The Ivory Throne.

-Love and Light

Lekshmi S P

 

 

Wisdom Talks

Well, Identifying who the wisest person is will always be relative. Depending on the emotional assistance required and problem levels the right person will keep changing, but its always a wise decision to take control of your doings and be truthful to yourself. Rather develop a personality that will show you dignified choices and reflects vision to practice productive thoughts one should develop the virtue of compassion and should be at peace with themselves.

In various stages of life, we often commit mistakes. The parameters of how grave or subtle the impact of the doings have stayed with the people getting hurt as consequences of it.

 “Who is wise One who learns from every man”? Perhaps to become wise, a person should learn from everyone; but the wiser he becomes, would he not find less value in those inferiors to himself?

One possible answer is that the wise man gleans positive knowledge and instruction also from negative traits and deeds.

a) What he does, he keeps to himself. 

b) He is ready to take risks in order to achieve his goal. 

c) The smallest detail is of great importance to him. 

d) He invests great effort and toils in what he does. 

e) He is swift.

f) He is confident and optimistic. 

g) If at first, he fails, he is back time and again for another try.

If you can’t judge a book by its cover, how can you judge a person on their first impression? I’ve never liked the cliche about “you never get a second chance…” because it’s rarely true. Sure, if you spill a grande coffee on someone’s lap, or set an entire dining room on fire, that would be hard to recover from on a first date, but most first interactions with people are terribly bland, no matter how wise either of you are. There just is no secret wise-person handshake nor a wise-person detection app for your phone.

Instead it takes an actual conversation with someone to learn who they are and how wise they might be. Starting conversations isn’t that hard, but there is a stupor that comes over most of us when we meet new people. Mostly, it goes like this: “Hi, how are you?” “I’m fine, you?” “I’m fine, thanks” <silence>. There’s not much chance to notice a wise person here. Our questionable social skills with strangers mean there are hundreds of wise people we have met at parties, or stood next to at the bus stop, and never knew it.

I understand social anxiety and fear of embarrassment, but yet it’s still mystifying that after 10,000 years of civilized life our species still hasn’t recognized how little there is to lose in talking to strangers (in safe situations). Why not just assume they are wise or interesting? What is there really to lose if you’re wrong? It’s easy to end conversations with strangers and they likely didn’t even expect you to start one. Therefore, why not make an offer to get outside of the boring conventions of daily life we so often complain about? More to my point, it takes a bit of wisdom about wisdom to find wise people.

Wisdom means not only experienced but an understanding of how to apply life experience to the present. This means the most likely way to identify a wise person is to have a conversation about life, which likely means to talk about a shared, or personal, event that has already taken place. It’s in their own observations that their wisdom or insight will be revealed (or not). This could take the shape of lessons learned, of attitudes about relationships or work, or thoughts about regrets and future dreams.

Now it’d be weird to go up to a stranger, introduce yourself, and demand “tell me a personal story that reveals how wise you are.” Don’t do that. But in most social situations there is a fast path towards sharing stories. For example, at a party, you can always ask anyone you don’t know: “how do you know <name of the host of party>” which almost always has some kind of story as an answer (and you can show your curiosity by asking interesting questions about their story). And then you can reply with your own answer, but add some leading context that hints at a story, or question, of your own. Perhaps “We went to college together a decade ago, but I have to admit I’m not sure I belong here. There are just too many people I don’t know.” Or even ask for advice about how to meet new people at events like this, a fun meta-trick (as by asking this to a new person you are using the question itself to solve the problem).

Perhaps my party socializing advice seems bound to fail, and you might be right. Maybe it’s easier to start with people we already know, like friends, coworkers, and family. But even then there must be some kind of inciting event to wake another person up out of their daily routines and pay attention to the fact you are offering a more interesting kind of conversation. There is no guarantee they’ll be interested or even understand that this is what you are offering. Yet if you don’t try, you’ll never know if you just overlooked a wise person. Someone has to (kindly) incite the chance for insight. To find wise people, you have to be wise enough, or perhaps just sufficiently bold, to reach out for them.

If I had to list traits of someone wise, they’d include:

·       Experienced – they’ve had interesting life experiences, both successes and failures and they’ve asked good questions about them

·       Humble confidence – they have the clarity to share or to challenge my thinking, but without a strong need to convince me of their view

·       Insightful opinions – their thoughts invite consideration or raise my curiosity (even if I don’t agree with their conclusions)

·       (I very much want to list a good sense of humor, but I’m convinced that reflects my own biases)

This leads to the observation that wisdom isn’t a universal attribute. Some people are very wise about business but are terribly ignorant about how healthy relationships work. Or they can give fantastic advice about life to others that they fail to practice in their own lives (a notorious failing of gurus, experts, and authors too). The singular word wisdom doesn’t stretch to cover the complexities of how it, or its absence, plays out in a person’s life, or in the advice they give. People in their later years certainly have more life experience to work from, but that by no means guarantees they possess any more wisdom about life than someone much younger than they are: a person might accumulate ignorance, or bitterness, at the same, or a faster, rate than wisdom.

In the end, mostly what we want are interesting people who are interested in us. Who are friendly, perhaps charming, willing to share what they know, and perhaps willing to listen for the wisdom they don’t have in new people they meet. 

Framed this way the titular question of this essay is less daunting. Once you befriend one person with these attributes, it’s easier to find more. And who knows, maybe while we’re trying to find what we need, now and then we can be the “wise person” someone we meet (at a party) is looking to find.

Where have you met the wisest people you know? How did you recognize them? Leave a comment. Thank you if you have noticed the initial glitch in the page. Thank you for checking out my page, I value your time hence thanking you for reaching out, 

You seem wise ;)

Happy Reading!

-Love SP 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beauty of Dreams

Dreams are hopes that keep you going. Without dreams, there will be no desire to pursue. There will be no objective to reach. We will all be nothing without dreams. Not having dreams resembles pursuing a traceless homicide. It resembles following an undetectable shadow. It is a loathsome goose pursue. We should comprehend what we need to do and pursue that desire.

A great many people have dreams. Successful ones or little ones. Indeed, even the best individuals had dreams and that is the thing that has made them what they are today. Envisioning is basic for a person. 

Without dreams, you will lose enthusiasm forever lastly prefer not to live. You will be exhausted and tired of the equivalent dull schedules of your everyday life and won’t discover an enthusiasm for the most energizing things. Just with dreams, will you discover a reason to carry on with your life? You will begin buckling down towards the fantasy and will never lose enthusiasm forever. You will never tire and dependably be spurred. This is the most ideal approach to end up effective. So, dream and dream big. It is the only way to achieve contentment in life.

Be that as it may, with dreams, comes extraordinary duty. It is not just sufficient to dream and disregard that fantasy. Numerous individuals dream, however just some wake up and work for it.

It is basic to buckle down for your fantasies. Without this diligent work, a fantasy will just remain a craving in the subliminal personality and will never be accomplished.

On the off chance that you don’t have a fantasy, you can never appreciate the extravagances of life or all that life brings to the table. You will never feel that delighted sentiment of accomplishment. You will never get pride in what you do and what you have accomplished. Every one of these things is vital for people and without these emotions, there is no inspiration.

In the event that you don’t have inspiration, you will be a disappointment throughout everyday life. You won’t have the capacity to accomplish those objectives and will have a hopeless existence. You will never appreciate the extravagances of life and you will never feel glad. You will be a disappointment and you will be nothing throughout everyday life. We should go that additional mile to achieve our objectives. Disappointments may come, however a state of mind to continue proceeding onward and attempting to enhance is completely accomplished my dreams. Dreams are the fuel that continues invigorating you to go further. Regardless of whether there are numerous snags throughout everyday life, you will, in general, continue moving further and attempting to be superior to anything your identity. Consistent and endless enhancement is extremely imperative in advancing throughout everyday life. It improves your identity and furthermore whatever you need to advance in. It causes you to gain from your missteps.

Having said that every dream is important if that keeps you pushing towards something meaningful and productive. Don't under-estimate any dream which keeps you awake and that helps in your growth. Dreams are hopes and hopes are oxygen to success. Breath in it and get it done.

How about some mistakes?

Most of us tend to try and avoid mistakes and view them as negative rather than an important factor in success. But mistakes can teach us and help us improve. Understanding the importance of mistakes and how to use them to our best use is what separates out the great leaders from the rest of the crowd. There is a skill in handling mistakes and understanding how to turn them into opportunities for leadership excellence.

“If you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You are doing things you have never done before, and more importantly, you are doing something.” Neil Gaiman

Making mistakes provides us with opportunities to showcase our leadership. Instead of trying to hide our fault, we should be using them to highlight our leadership skills and character. Here are just a few of the ways that we can use mistakes to our merit.

We have been taught that mistakes Infer we have done something wrong and we have failed in some way. Identifying actions and outcomes that make us feel like we didn’t succeed can help us gain crisp clarity on what success means to us. Mistakes let us know we have strayed from what we want to be, do, or have. Paying attention to why we view the action as a mistake can help nudge us back towards our desired vision and leadership purpose in the long run.

Because mistakes tend to be viewed as negative, we have a natural innate fear of them. An even stronger emotion is our sense of pride; and we fear those things that threaten our ego. To admit that something went wrong and take action to correct it calls on us to face those fears. Learning to overcome our fear opens us up for growth and advancement. Facing your fear is a sign of power and resiliency.

Addressing the fear that mistakes can bring and moving forward despite the setbacks demonstrates courage. It takes courage to admit that we didn’t get it right the first time and we want to try again with a new approach even harder. Understanding how to be emotionally and mentally courageous is something that many struggles with. Mistakes provide us opportunities to show our courage, and courage is a sign of leadership and more about satisfaction.

Have you noticed it? Mistakes force us to explore alternatives. They require us to re-examine an issue and think creatively to find or develop other solutions or approaches. Mistakes teach us what doesn’t work and encourage us to create new ways of thinking and doing. Creativity and innovation are a mindset where mistakes are viewed as educational challenges. This shift in mindset can provide positive energy for discovering something new and better, and pull you closer to growth.

Big mistakes often start as small errors. Even our smallest choices have power, so it is important we pay attention to the integrity of the choices we make every day. Mistakes can be a signal that our words and our actions are out of alignment and clarity. In that case, we can re-examine our intentions, reconsider our priorities, and adjust our actions. How we handle mistakes demonstrates the integrity of our leadership.

Many mistakes provide a lesson to be learned. Not only is it a lesson for us, but it provides an opportunity to teach and mentor others what we’ve learned. Others may be inspired when we are courageous and make our private struggles public. As leaders, we can teach that it is okay to fail because we are willing to let them see our failures and mistakes. This gives us opportunities to talk through what we could or would have done differently. These are powerful lessons for leaders to share.

One indicator of a great leader is how one handles mistakes. Being able to effectively handle difficulties demonstrates who can overcome challenges and setbacks, and who can’t. Great leaders know how to correct issues and move forward. Here are the steps for leading through mistakes.

The first step in handling a mistake is to recognize and acknowledge that a mistake has been made. This means no passing the buck, no excuses, no blame-shifting, and no sweeping the issue under the rug. Pretending the mistakes didn’t happen doesn’t allow you to learn from it or fix it. Ignoring the mistake only sets you up to repeat it which is of no use.

This is a difficult step for many of us, but we must take responsibility for our actions. We must own up to the mistake and claim it as our own. If an apology is in order, make it a real apology, not something lame and self-protective. Apologizing for a mistake that you made can make a big difference. By apologizing, you are showing courage. It makes you an authentic and sincere leader. Remember, this includes taking responsibility for the actions of your teams. If their successes are your successes, then their mistakes must also be your mistakes.

You must pinpoint the specific error. Ask lots of questions and find out where you went wrong. You must understand the how, the what, the why, the when, and the where to properly correct the issue. It is the difference between knowing that something is wrong with your car because the check engine light is on, and being the mechanic who can determine the specific error that is causing the light to go on.

Once you know the specific error that was made, you can create a plan to correct the mistake. The best plan will have multiple options for correcting the issue. This allows you to be flexible and explore various ways to address the issue.

After the plan has been implemented, make sure you take the time to review the results. You want to ensure that not only did you correct the initial mistake, but that all the actions combined produced the intended outcomes. Sometimes fixing one thing creates another challenge. Reviewing the entire issue allows you to confirm the problem has been fully resolved.

Love

-Lekshmi S P

Ready For Another Roller-coaster Ride?

“Time To Open Up A New Chapter In Life, And To Explore A Larger Center.” We discover more about who we are and what we want, and then we realize there are changes we need to make. The lifestyle we’ve been living no longer fits. The people we’ve been spending time with no longer see things the way we do. So we cherish all the great memories, but find ourselves moving on to new chapters in our stories and redefining old ones. We expect our lives to materialize the way we envision them in our hopes and dreams. When life doesn’t go as planned, it can be difficult to reconcile the disappointment of our new reality. 

Resistance is the first defense. We don’t want to believe or accept the change. Here are the 5 possible reasons why your life is currently sour, and not as exciting as you’d like it to be. By understanding these 5 suggestions, a new chapter in life will open up to you starting today:

 1. You’ve been working tirelessly trying to control the uncontrollable. What if, instead of pushing so hard to make life happen, you decided to let go a little and allow life to happen to you? What if, instead of trying to always be in control, you sometimes surrendered control to something bigger than yourself? What if, instead of working so hard to figure out every last answer, you allowed yourself to be guided to the solution in perfect timing? 

2. The past never changes. You can spend hours, days, weeks, months, or even years sitting alone in a dark room, over-analyzing a situation from the past, trying to put the pieces together, and justifying what could’ve or should’ve happened. Or you can just leave the pieces in the dark and walk out the front door into the sunlight to get some fresh air. 

3. Holding on to pain is self-abuse. Your past has given you the strength and wisdom you have today, so celebrate it. Don’t let it haunt you. Replaying a painful memory over and over in your head is a form of self-abuse. Toxic thoughts create a toxic life. Make peace with yourself and your past. When you heal your thoughts, you heal the health of your happiness. So stop focusing on old problems and things you don’t want in your future. The more you think about them, the more you attract what you fear into your everyday experiences you become your own worst enemy. 

4. Moving on creates positive change. You may blame everyone else and think, “Poor me! Why do all these crappy things keep happening to me?” But the only thing those scenarios all have in common is YOU. And this is good news because it means YOU alone have the power to change things or change the way you think about things. There is something very powerful and liberating about surrendering to change and embracing it this is where personal growth and evolution reside.

5. New opportunities are out there waiting for you. Nobody gets through life without losing someone they love, something they need, or something they thought was meant to be. But it is these losses that make us stronger and eventually move us toward future opportunities. 

Embrace these opportunities. Enter new relationships and new situations, knowing that you are venturing into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to experience something or meet someone that just might change your life forever. And of course, if you’re struggling with any of these points, know that you are not alone. 

Many of us are right there with you, working hard to start our new chapter in life. So persevere through these times, and you’ll soon find it all being well worth the journey. What helps me maintain an optimistic attitude and cope when things go wrong? Three very important ideas: 

1. Life happens for you, not to you. 

2. This too shall pass. 

3. Be with what is. 

Most importantly every life is different, so make your own cheat codes and crack down the puzzles one by one. For me, a life which is a roller coaster is very exciting every passing day because I hardly surrender to failures, indeed awaits for one. Tell me how can someone let go of this beautiful disparity, when life gives you a lemon make lemonade of it.

A letter to my future self.

What’s up! Life has been interesting, crazy, fun, boring, unexpected, expected a lesson in opposition.

Despite all the constant frustration, you’ve managed to wear glitter every damn day, and hey, that’s kinda a victory, right? Your clothes are on point a ton of shiny stuff, colors, and general epic yoga outfits fit in your closet, so many stories of weird crazy stuffs is not to be forgotten.

You’ve got the most epic friends, and an above average family (well, they are the best).

You get to spend time outside in one of the most beautiful places on earth and you’re in the best shape of your life thus far, so that’s great.

Everything that has happened has lead you to this moment. Don’t change a thing. Everything worked out exactly as it should be. All the puzzle pieces fit, all the paths make sense. All the people were meant to be. All the successes and failures and heartwarming and heartbreaking moments were all worth it. No regrets. You were and are and have been and always will be yourself, and that’s what matters above all.

Right now your life is one giant crossroads. It’s exciting. It’s frustrating. It’s temporary. I hope you have a few more things figured out by now. But I also hope you still have some questions. Keep asking them. 

I’m sure you’ve got a lot going on right now, and that’s good. Just don’t lose track of what’s important, what’s worth making time for. Spend time with people you love. That’s first and foremost, always. Pick up the phone. Make some plans. Get outside, even when the couch is calling. Camp in the woods. Build a fire. Have some wine. Stay up late. Climb a mountain. Go for a sail. Trust that things will work out, or change them if you don’t like the charted course. Eat good food cooked from scratch. See live music. Travel abroad with someone you care about. Immerse yourself in a good book. Do you have kids? Raise them right. Spend time with them. Teach them how to shake someone’s hand properly. Write down your thoughts. Tell your stories. Tell others’ stories. Listen. Set goals, both lofty and reasonable. Move your body. Give back.

And never forget to be grateful. You should be oh, so very grateful.

As you continue to age, you’ll continue to get more awesome. Remember, the goal is to peak at 90 (or later). You’ve got a lot of time.

Despite the frustration, you’re on your way to making all your dreams come true (probably).

Now as soon the prevailing condition bid adieu, go on an epic vacation and buy a new outfit with your sweet bank account that you hopefully acquired by now. You’ve earned it.

Keep killing it.