WHAT REMAINS?

Did you ever think about what really matters in life? Even though few of us do know the sour truth do we acknowledge it?  

That's because we live in a culture that places a high premium on external measures of success. As a society, we value appearances that fall within our unrealistic standards of beauty, pride ourselves on being constantly busy, and seem to be constantly striving to make more money or have nicer things. There is nothing wrong with being ambitious-but often I think that we mistakenly equate some of these external achievements with experiencing greater happiness.

We are into “hedonic adaptation,” where people quickly become used to external changes (good or bad) and return to their basic state of happiness. We have all experienced this on reaching an external goal-only to realize that once we have achieved a goal, often we simply move on to the next one or raise the benchmark of how we define success. The same is with love as well, we keep camouflaging our interests and ways of life to make spouse happier, wherein you ultimately forget what you really use to enjoy before.  Because like success, love also comes with its baggage of expectations. But both are very essentially a beautiful part of your life, so once you can pave ur success story be wise enough to choose with whom you need to share your love story.  And don't confuse between love, because it's a variant phenomenon find your mate not out of any need,  hold him tight if you both are heading to the same greatness in life. 

It all comes down to the last day of your journey when you will recall your so-called life. It’s important to note that none of these regrets of the dying focus on external achievements, such as having a six-pack, making more money, or the number of Facebook followers-rather they touch on values that truly matter, such as vulnerability, balanced living, having meaningful relationships, and authenticity.

Often we are so caught up in the pursuit of these external measures of success, that we forget about the values that really matter. For instance, picture a woman who has decided to go on a strict diet to lose weight. This is problematic for many reasons. Aside from the fact that diets do not work in regards to long-term weight control, going on a diet is also shown to contribute to individuals being obsessed and preoccupied with thoughts of food. This makes sense evolutionarily. Your body did not want to starve death-therefore when faced with the threat of starvation it was evolutionarily adaptive for you to notice any potential food sources in the surrounding environment.

Even if somehow they were able to maintain a suppressed weight, this would probably not

 make them any happier in the long term. Obsessing about food, weight, and exercise, keeps

 people away from the things in life that truly matter such as having healthy and fulfilling

 relationships with friends and family. Do you really think at the end of your life, you will be

 sitting around saying, “you know I really wish I had been thinner?” 

We often like to think that we have unlimited time, but all that we can truly count on is this moment. Practicing gratitude for all that you do have, allowing yourself to be vulnerable with the people who matter, doing random acts of kindness, and not being afraid to show others your authentic, imperfect, and beautiful self is what we should all be striving for.

We are given this one life, and I encourage you to dig deep and think about how you want to spend your time and energy. I don’t know about you, but while I’m here I want to go on more adventures, learn new things, connect with people in an authentic and meaningful way, build the kinds of relationships that I deserve, taste delicious foods, travel, help others who are struggling, and let myself experience and feel every emotion-pleasant and unpleasant.

I used to be caught up in external benchmarks of success-and admittedly it is something I still sometimes focus on. After all, there is nothing wrong with wanting to strive for your "dream job" (although, I would say that trying to meet the idealized standard of beauty is a fruitless and meaningless battle). However, I think that it is important to put the idea of achieving external goals into perspective. When you become all-consumed and measure your sense of self-worth in terms of something external-that is when this drive becomes problematic. 

This week and beyond, I would urge you to think about what your values are. If you are living a life that is not in accordance with your true values-it may be time to be courageous and to start making some changes. Make it a dream for anyone who watches. 

Lekshmi SP